Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize