i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
