I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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