I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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