so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I believe in your delicious
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
