My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
