dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
