Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
