I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize