one two three fourrrrnication!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
did i just pee glitter
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