everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
