he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
