shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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