You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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