He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i would one night stand the shit outta him
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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