Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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