Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You did what with his pubic hair?
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