I just made out with a guy for $7.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
im on a boat
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