I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize