How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize