lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
