brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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