Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
