she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
