There was a lot of him and a little penis
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
