Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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