Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
