hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize