I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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