There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
