we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
