But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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