you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
