She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize