I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
