what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
