You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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