Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
