I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
