If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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