If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have feelings that need drinking.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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