She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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