thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
