let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
