so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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