Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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