that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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