were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
