You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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