His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
