im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
