No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
