i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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