she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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