Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
