You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
