I think I won the penis lottery.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
