I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
