The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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