I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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